he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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