The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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