A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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