i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The power of my boobs compel you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
