My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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