Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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