I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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