there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
