I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
