Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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