Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
