so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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