"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
