; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Rumble strips road head = magical
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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