Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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