You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
