you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
