Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Randomize
