Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
