none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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