you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
