Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
