I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
