nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She announced her abortion via fbk
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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