so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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