i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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