you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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