WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
