its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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