Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
