she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize