what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
