the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
