Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
