its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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