She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
