I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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