Just cropdusted the office
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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