Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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