Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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