so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
