You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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