all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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