I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
my poor anus
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize