You're so nebulous sometimes
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize