Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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