mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
