I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
