Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
