There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
