did you get engaged???
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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