dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize