Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
