Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
