Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The air was thick with penises
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
