It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
