They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
