i think my mom watched the whole time
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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